Economy Class Vacation in Pattaya
Here is my wife's story about her first visit to Pattaya. 
It doesn't make sense to spend money on expensive apartment in Thailand, all the more so in reckless Pattaya. I have learned that from experience. As my husband, having managed to travel through half of Thailand, indignantly rejected the expensive Royal Cliff (‘you are going to see the country, not the hotel!’), I opted for a casual White House Resort, $32 a double room. At the honor to Internet, one can examine in advance the interior, as well as the picture of the hotel taken from a satellite.
Our three-star White House Resort was by far not a new one, but small and very cozy: vast territory, planted land, two picturesque swimming pools and, as it turned out the next morning, a wide variety of delicious viands of predominantly Thai cuisine on the breakfast menu. Our room was large, with rattan furniture and a comfortable balcony with a pool view. It was here that we spent our evenings at supper.
The way to the ocean took about 3-5 minutes, leading through the red-light street with an endless row of cafes full with frilly Thai girls inviting ‘farangs’ (a word used to mark foreigners) to come in. Quite a vivid spectacle…
The ocean was hot. On the beach we sprawled in shadow, in the first line (a sunshade + 2 chaise longue + a bin = 1$ in total) and enjoyed that. Meanwhile, street vendors were scurrying about the beach with all possible ambrosia – from royal shrimps, crabs and mollusks of different kind $2,5 each, to exotic fruits and sweets. Surely, we had our dinner on the spot. If we wanted a soup, we had it right on the beach brought from a neighbor restaurant. Everyday we ordered a coco-nut served ice-cold. I mixed my own shake a-la Pina Colada: after having drunk about one-forth of coco-milk I filled up the nut with the same amount of whisky,– an astounding thing!
Besides the rest-time on the beach, we enjoyed walking in Pattaya, though not across the tourist sights, but in the places where farang never trod. We came to the districts inhabited purely with natives, who didn’t understand any language but Thai. We went to their picturesque markets, where one can buy everything from fruits, meat, fish and vegetables to mass consumption textile, handmade souvenirs and domestic animals. Furthermore, there is a “gormandizer mall” at all Thai markets with a great deal of exotic viands which compositions defying description.
Sometimes we sat in tiny cafés for Thais, where Caucasian visitors caused a flurry: all the neighboring people and their children came there to have a look at us. In one such café we tasted Tom Yam, the famous Thai soup with a huge amount of ingredients. It is very spicy, and Thais inquisitively observed us to see how we devoured it. We didn’t want to lose face in front of the Asians, so we ate everything including some strange tough vegetables (‘Cattle…’ I swore inwardly. ‘They have not boiled it as they should!’). As it became clear from the stories later told by people who know about the Thai cuisine, these vegetables (ginger root, some citron leaves etc.) are not supposed to be eaten and are used only as a seasoning. Just imagine the Thais having fun when they saw farangs eating the whole stuff!
As a matter of fact, I noticed, that Thais had a real cult of food. And their excellent seafood made me a glutton too: look at the post ‘The best seafood in Thai: only on Islands’.Although everybody was short and thin there, they ate from morning till night. As they came to the beach, they first of all pushed their small tables together and served many different viands. Somebody actually brought a handheld brazier to cook a meal. And that lasts all day long. Eating, then swimming, then again eating – that is the day regimen.
Once we observed a miniature Thai girl, whose weight was not more then forty kilos, eating 6 (six) different viands with meat, rice, noodles, seafood etc. before our eyes. Any of them would be enough for us two… However, many Thais dream of getting fat (and white), since for them that are signs of wealth, probably that is the reason why they eat so much and do not take the sun at all. In general, they are rather shy guys, although immediately getting drunk and then brave. Knowing just a couple English words, many of them tried to talk to us on the beach and give something, although unobtrusive.
By the way, having observed how the natives bathed, we understood why so many people had died in the south-eastern Asia after the tsunami. The absolute majority of Thais, although living in the very neighborhood of the ocean, could not swim! All of them splashed close to the shore in huge ring-buoys and with horror looked at us swimming without ring-buoys to the very beacons. My husband, who calmly lay in the water on his back, caused their particular interest. Poor guys tried to repeat this trick, but failed. As we found out from our conversations with Thais (which was not easy because of the language barrier), the fear of the ocean is there a kind of tradition.
Tonight, after having enough walk, we went to the mobile canteens to buy some Thai food and pineapples and then had a supper on the balcony at our hotel. By the way, eating in the cheapest snack-bars intended for the natives, we tasted a lot of delicious things and never had any problems with stomachs. A supper for two, together with drinks cost us $5-7.
The most fun we had, surely, during Songkran, the Thai New Year. All the week long Thais poured everybody with water (often mixed with ice) from dip-buckets, hoses etc. and soiled everybody with fragrant talc. According to the Buddhist religion, it helps wash all problems and bad thoughts. That is also their way to threaten the heat, since April is the hottest month. A great piece of luck is considered to water and soil farangs. It was impossible to walk in the street: the inhabitants followed us half a block long and we ran away dodging like rabbits. However we revenged ourselves. Having found a dipper of about two-liter volume, we took part in the battle too. We enjoyed it recalling our school time. But my husband was a little afraid for his loved Nikon and ‘dear’ Panasonic camcorder (look at his photo tramp’s blog).
In the town went a huge amount of small open-top Lorries with water-carts and groups of Thais, watering everybody they met. The passengers of the open taxis called took-took suffered most of all (I have firsthand knowledge about that): they are watered from all sides – from the curb and from the passing cars. The most spiteful hooligans are the Caucasian men at the venerable age, obviously living in Pattaya for several seasons. They use mostly huge vessels – buckets. One Norwegian even came in a lorry with a small fire-tank and had a lot of fun watering everybody with a thick fire-hose. We managed to film that with our camcorder, but still the film does not communicate the inimitable atmosphere of the hilarity reigning in the days of Songkran in Thailand.
A few words about Chinese: Our hotel was intended for 160 persons. However the number of guests was about 20-30. It was calmly and not crowded. But a bit later Chinese came – about 80 people, and then 80 more people, for several days. They were very organized. They went to the breakfast and to the beach in small groups about 75-100 persons, very organized. They were afraid of the wet festival reigning outdoors because of the Songkran and went from the hotel directly to their bus, in horror observing us, wet and soiled from top to toe.
It is worth telling about the shopping fun during the Songkran sales. In this time Thais set their stalls along the beach and sell everything for reduced price, from clothes to spectacles, jewelry and sweets. We bought here two pairs of jeans ($5 each) of perfect fabric and modern fashion; and besides that, exotic bags – one made of skate, and another one conventionalized like crocodile leather with pieces of elephant leather (less then $10); and in addition a plenty of different cool T-shirts ($2-3 each). Surely, everybody of us also bought a couple of watches fabricated like famous brands, which Thailand is known for. If one does not know about their origin, they look like the genuine ones – Rolex, Patek Philippe and Omega. What is more, in one of the private ateliers (there are thousands of them in Thailand) we hand-tailored two business suits of Thai silk from the Hugo Boss catalog. Together they cost us $150.Look at the post: ‘Tailor-salons in Pattaya? How to buy a new silk suit for less money’
If not counting the flight, our holiday in forty meters from the city Jomtien Beach cost us a peanut. But the emotions we got from this crazy merriment called Songkran Festival were enough for us till the very next trip. Where? In Thailand, certainly!
For example look at my husband's post: ‘Koh Chang Archipelago’s 52 coral Islands: Maak, Wai, Hood and Kham as residence of snorkeling and lonely hearts’.
